No Crystal Stair

Well another school year is done. My eldest son has been... well he's been 16. School and motivation have been a challenge for him... and this year he barely made it out of 10th grade. My expectations won't change for him, and he will have to travel through this with my support, but I can't do it for him. He and I were sitting up and talking about life and how hard it can feel at times. More importantly about how we were not born into this world to live it alone, and family and friends come into our life for a season (some longer seasons than others) to help us learn and grow. Some of the ways others help us to do this is not always through good experiences... the good ones remind you that its possible and the bad ones are packed with some of the biggest lessons. I pray he is getting the lesson and that our relationship continues to be the safe resting place for him to be reminded that he's not alone.

Our conversation also lead us to reflect on the realities of life and death. My Auntie Pecola passed away on Sunday (RIP Auntie Pecola), leaving my little cousin (age 17) parentless (his stepfather and only man he's knowns as Daddy was killed in an accident less than a year ago, November 2007). This reality is what saddens me so deeply. I rejoice that my Auntie is not in pain anymore and she can rest now. Just thinking about my cousins brings tears to my eyes, because with all of my Auntie's flaws she still was a love filled woman and her children (two adults and my little cousin) have to grapple with grief and pain not only for her death but in some of their ambivalent feelings about her life.

Today, I am reminded of my passion for my children as a mother, and my admiration of my mother as her daughter. My Grandmother raised several of my aunts children for different intervals of their life... so my mother always had the option when things were hard... yet even as a child I knew that she chose to be Mommy, because beyond sending us to Grandma's for the summer she always chose my brother and I... and I am eternally grateful for her strength and perseverance thru some difficult times. It is because of my mother's example and strength that I took motherhood very seriously at the age of 15. I too, chose to be Mommy even when it would have been "ok" if I said, I am "too young for this". I couldn't have done it without my Mommy and I am thankful that my BabyDaddy chose to be Daddy because through the ups and downs our children have always had both of us.

I shared one of my favorite poems with my son tonight, Mother to Son, by Langston Hughes.


Mother to Son
by Langston Hughes

Well, son, I'll tell you:
Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor --
Bare.
But all the time
I'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark
Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps
'Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --
For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.


Be Blessed and Encouraged,
WonderWoman